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Blog: Lee Younger

What is Love? - Undramatic

CCC Oak Ridge

In 1 Corinthians 13, the Apostle Paul says that there is only one stat that ultimately matters in your walk with God - one thing that that truly tells the world who you are, and that is your love (or lack thereof). The real question is, how do I grow in love? What does love look like? What does love do, and what does it not do? What is love?

3. Love Isn’t All Dramatic

The thing that drives me absolutely nuts about reality shows is the very thing that keeps millions of viewers tuned in, and that is the DRAMA! I mean, people are glued to those shows like their lives depended on it, and the thing they simply can’t get enough of is the alliances, the scheming, the fights, the tears, the screaming, the back-stabbing, gut-wrenching drama of it all! With the creation of reality shows, network TV producers have created a renewable resource of seething drama that has proven to be an unlimited cash cow for themselves. The thing is, everyone is buying, but why?

Why do we love drama so much?

Why is it that people can’t get enough of the tempers flaring, tears pouring and hearts breaking out loud? Why do we love to watch that stuff? Is it because we think this is the way real passion should be? Is there something inside us that says this is what real love looks like?

In 1 Corinthians 13, when Paul says that love “does not envy,” the Greek word he used for ‘envy’ is the word “zeal.” Literally, Paul says that love doesn’t get zealous. Usually, when I think about zeal and people who are zealous, I can’t help think about sports fans who are a little too wrapped up in their favorite team... you’ve seen these folks, right? They spend outlandish amounts of money for this team, they scream and yell and cuss at the games and they are affected deeply by wins and losses. Now, when I say they are affected deeply, I don’t mean they like winning and hate losing... no. I mean, that this type of person is in a dark, foul, low mood for days and days after a heart-breaking loss. We have all seen folks like this, and it’s not pretty. I mean, in the end, it’s only a game, right?

Turns out that the word ‘zeal’ really means to get riled up. It’s actually a word that was used to imitate the sound of water boiling. It means to bubble up, boil over and just be so completely upset that you become an overwhelming, boiling vat of drama.

Thing is, we’ve all seen that kind of boiling zeal in relationships we know at times, (maybe even us) and it gets even uglier than the zealous sports fans. I think people love drama because it feels like the kind of passion that love is supposed to have. It pretends to be concern, care and affection, but it’s only pretending. You see, drama is where love goes to die. Drama is where love actually becomes hate. When you really stop to think about it, drama like that is just about selfishness. It’s about being right. When a person boils over like we’re talking about, it’s because they think they are more right than you are and they’ll stop at nothing to prove it. They’ll yell, they’ll scream, they’ll throw things or punch the wall. They’ll make outlandish promises and statements and they’ll make every little thing into the biggest deal of all time.

The truth is, drama isn’t really about passion. It’s about that dramatic person. Drama is like a full-grown adult throwing a temper tantrum because they want to get their way, and they’ll do anything to make that happen. Real love isn’t like that. Now don’t get me wrong: Real love is filled with passion, but it doesn’t have to boil over. The passion in real love doesn’t have to be seen and heard; it just feels acts with love.

In Matthew 12:19, an Old Testament prophecy about who the Messiah would be gets fulfilled in Jesus when it says, “He will not quarrel or cry out; no one will hear His voice in the streets.” Jesus wasn’t dramatic. He didn’t have to boil over in order to show His passion for us. He quietly, sweetly loved everyone who came into His path. He loved with affection and passion, but He didn’t have to boil over. Real love isn’t all dramatic, because real love doesn’t have anything to prove.