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100 Ogden Lane
Oak Ridge, TN 37830


Blog: Tom Job

A Note From Tom: August 3rd, 2012

CCC Oak Ridge

Hey, everyone!

Hope your day is going awesomely!! I know it's hot but there are ways to cool down…Here's one…If you buy an ice cream in a cup at Chik-Fila and pour a little Diet Coke (™) on it, it freezes and makes this awesome crunchy crusty thing! But it doesn't work with regular Coke, just Diet. But our Chik-fila is closed for renovations. So, that's not gonna be the answer.

Since ours is closed, no one had the chance to go to Chik-Fila on Wednesday, which was "Chik-Fila Appreciation Day" across America, a day when those who wanted to, could support Chik-fila and their president. Apparently, he really made some people upset when he spoke out in favor of traditional marriage.  So friends of "Chik" (as we call it) and of traditional and, some would add, the biblical model of marriage could go there and buy a sandwich, waffle fries, or a Diet Coke Ice Cream Crunch (which they don't even know about 'cause Lee invented it).

The real reason for Chik-Fila Appreciation Day is that others are boycotting Chik-Fila. They are angry at the president's remarks and because of money CF has donated to lobbying groups who work to oppose gay rights. Some mayors have suggested that Chik-fila would not be welcome in their cities. But papers like the Boston Globe say mayors don't have the right to do that.

In the meantime, many have expressed their support of Chik-Fila and traditional, biblical marriage not only by eating there, but also by tweeting, blogging, and reblogging in the Facebook fling of words across the world.

This fight is getting hotter than a Spicy Chik sandwich!  If our Chik-Fila was open this week, should those who love Jesus have eaten there just to say something (even tho' you're not supposed to talk with your mouth full?)  Should we get in this food fight?

What would our Lord do? What would He have us do?

What does He want from me?

These are the questions I've been thinking about. Here's what I've been thinking...

'…If the fight is for the "traditional marriage"…

Traditional marriage may not be as traditional as folks think. By "traditional", I think people mean "the one most people believe in and live".  By the traditional American marriage, I think people probably mean a marriage between one man and one woman who live in sexual and emotional fidelity to their vows until one or the other dies. "Until death do us part". You know, the traditional marriage MOST of us have.  

Only problem with that is that most Americans DON'T have that marriage. Most American marriages DON'T make it to the finish line. Over half of all marriages are over before the people in them are. Among second and third marriages, way more than half the marriages are dead before the people in them are dead. Even among those who would define themselves as followers of Jesus, the numbers are about the same. So the "traditional marriage" is now non-traditional!

If internet pornography (which has entered so many hearts and homes) is a kind of digital infidelity (Jesus would say it is. Check it. Matt 5.28) then for many, many Americans, the traditional marriage of fidelity in body, heart, and mind is like Christmas tradition. It's traditional like,say… Santa. Couples like to tell their kids about him, but they know he ain't comin' down the chimney.

Some nostalgically pine for the traditional marriage of TV families they've loved through the years. But often it turns out that from the Huckstables, to the Wilders, to the Bradys, those who were playing those parts weren't pulling it off themselves at home.

And I've personally always wondered why Andy didn't marry Helen Crump! And why didn't Mickey marry Minnie? What was up with that?

If the fight is to defend the biblical model of marriage, well...

A really biblical marriage is one between one man and one woman who are faithful to each other emotionally and sexually until death.And…

It is one where the woman is a person who "submits herself to her own husband as unto the Lord Jesus Himself! …In everything!" (Eph 5.22-25) She has a "beauty of her inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight…" (1 Peter 3.4-6)

Wow! As the say in the Olympics, that's raisin' the bar!

Unfading beauty…quiet…gentle…"submitting themselves to their own husbands, like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him her lord…"


 And the guys?

Well, they love their wives just like Jesus loved us and gave Himself for us!…In the same way, husbands are to love their wives as much as their own bodies!" (Eph 5.25-28)

And that's a lot!

He loves her and gives, not just some time, but his very life for her, just like Jesus gave His life for us! No matter how much it costs or hurts him!

Listen to how people talk in a biblical marriage…

"No unwholesome word comes out of that mouth but only what builds the other up!...They've stopped getting angry, grumpy…they don't yell, call names or say hurtful stuff. All the time, they're kind and tender-hearted. They always forgive each other just as much as God has forgiven them.  In fact, they imitate God in their marriage, living a life of love!"

It's right there in Ephesians 4. 29-5.1!

You kinda wonder if all those who fight for biblical marriage actually have one.

I guess for lots of folks in the fight for the biblical model of marriage, they fight for the ideal, but when they get home, they just fight!

What would it take for a couple to not only believe in biblical marriage, but to actually LIVE in one? What would it take for her to have quiet, gentle beauty and him to have sacrificial love?

It takes Jesus!

It takes the Quiet, Gentle, Beautiful One! It takes the Sacrificial One!

Jesus in the heart!

And Jesus on your heart!

The only ones who can really do this are those who love Him! And those who LOVE Him WANT to do whatever He says no matter how crazy it seems! Because of how crazy they are for Him!

And those who love Him so much that they would do whatever He asks, are those who know deep in their heart how much He loves them!

Y'know, the reason folks don't have the relationships He wanted all along for them…the reason people are unfaithful, sexually messed up, live homosexual relationships, go sexually crazy at college, keep internet secrets they don't want anyone to discover, is often because that they don't know Him. They don't know how much He loves them!

If they only knew! If they only knew how crazy He is for them! They might come to be crazy for Him! Even if their crazy friends think they were crazy!

The reason people are the way they are isn't that they don't have enough tradition in their lives. It's that they don't have enough Jesus in their lives.

People need Jesus Christ.

The only way they will find Him- and the only way they would ever hope to someday have biblical relationships because of their new-found love for Him- is if someone who loves Him would love them.  

If we fight with them, they think we hate them. If they think we hate them, they don't care what we have to say about the One Who loves them. If we fight them in that same old way, they won't care what we have to say about the One Who could give them a heart to live in a whole new way. If we fight them, instead of fighting for biblical marriages, we may be fighting against the hope that some people would ever have one.

Aren't we on earth for just a little while longer to win people, instead of winning fights with them?

I guess I'm glad our Chik-Fila was closed on Wednesday. I hope this is over soon.